Apologising at work can be a daunting task. Often, employees and managers hesitate to say ‘sorry’ outright, opting for vague, noncommittal phrases like, ‘I apologise for any hurt caused.’ Such equivocal apologies avoid admitting wrongdoing, instead shifting the focus to others’ feelings without acknowledging personal accountability.
Celebrities are a dab hand at this. Lea Michele, the former Glee star, when accused of toxic behaviour on-set, issued an ‘apology’ which suggested that it was her privileged position that caused her to be “perceived as insensitive or inappropriate at times.” – appearing to shift responsibility for her actions. Recently, in his first attempt at an apology after a raft of sexual misconduct allegations were made against him, Masterchef host Gregg Wallace referred to his accusers as ‘middle class women of a certain age’. After this first attempt backfired, he attempted to apologise for this apology, this time with the classic deflection of personal responsibility: ‘I apologise for any offence that I caused’.
Why is saying ‘sorry’ so difficult? Fear of losing face, damaging reputation, or admitting fault that could invite further criticism often holds people back. In hierarchical workplaces, managers may feel that admitting a mistake undermines their authority, while employees might worry about career repercussions. But avoiding genuine apologies can backfire, fostering distrust and resentment.
For managers, mastering the art of apologising is especially critical. When leaders apologise sincerely, they model accountability, promote a culture of openness, and build trust with their teams. A heartfelt apology: ‘I was wrong, and I’m sorry for how this impacted the team. Here’s how I’ll fix it’ – demonstrates integrity and a commitment to improvement.
However, a poorly delivered apology can do more harm than good. Deflecting blame or using conditional language a la Gregg Wallace (‘I’m sorry if you felt that way’) communicates insincerity and undermines the apology’s purpose. True apologies require courage and empathy, showing a willingness to be vulnerable for the sake of repairing relationships and fostering a healthy workplace culture. A good apology isn’t just about saying ‘sorry’ – it’s about meaning it.
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